Kerri, I saw this & thought of you ;O)
A Christmas story for people having a bad day
When four of Santa’s elves got sick the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found three of them where about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked. The toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of Rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration he accidentally dropped the cider jug and it broke into hundreds of little pieces of glass all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang. And an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas Santa. Isn’t it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Hurricane Fay ~ Go Away!
Just wanted to say how relieved I am to know Chris and all her friends & neighbours in Florida are OK after Hurricane Fay. I think there are many who aren't so my heart goes out to them all. I hope that everything gets back to normal soon for all those affected by the storms. We don't know how lucky we are in this country even though we moan constantly about the weather.
Talking of moaning, I shall never do it again when a wasp flies in through the back door and we try our up most to kill it. I hate the damn things, maybe a hangup from being stung on numerous occasions as a child, I don't know. BUT, I would rather have a wasp in the house than an alligator swimming down the street!!! Yep, in some flooded parts of Florida alligators have been seen swimming down the streets, OMG can you imagine!
Wellington boots would be no match for a gater, as you wadded through flood water, would they. I wonder if 'Crocs' would be any better? 
Last but not least I found this (If you don't like rude jokes, please don't read anymore)
WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first." "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet." The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh ! God, I'm coming, I'm coming!" "If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her fer sure."
The Nun fainted.
Talking of moaning, I shall never do it again when a wasp flies in through the back door and we try our up most to kill it. I hate the damn things, maybe a hangup from being stung on numerous occasions as a child, I don't know. BUT, I would rather have a wasp in the house than an alligator swimming down the street!!! Yep, in some flooded parts of Florida alligators have been seen swimming down the streets, OMG can you imagine!
Wellington boots would be no match for a gater, as you wadded through flood water, would they. I wonder if 'Crocs' would be any better? Last but not least I found this (If you don't like rude jokes, please don't read anymore)WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first." "What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet." The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh ! God, I'm coming, I'm coming!" "If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her fer sure."
The Nun fainted.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Still Searching
Still searching the 1861 Census for William & Jane Horrocks
Searched:
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 1 - Page 1 to 40
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 2f - Page 1 to 40
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 3f - Page 1 to 38
Ashton-under-Lyne & Audenshaw - District 4f - Page 1 to 41
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 4f - Page 1 to 5
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 6d - Page 1 to 30
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 7d - Page 1 to 29
Bradford - District 14 - Page 1 to 70
Bradford - District 15 - Page 1 to 77
Openshaw - District 23 - Page 1 to 23 unfinished
Whilst I've been searching I've been listening to my favourite radio station Wave 105. They've just had a woman on telling a joke & I'm sat here giggling :O) A woman looks in the mirror & says "Oh no, I'm old, fat & ugly," she turns to her husband & asks him to pay her a compliment. He says "well dear, your eye sights spot on". ROFLMAO
Searched:
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 1 - Page 1 to 40
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 2f - Page 1 to 40
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 3f - Page 1 to 38
Ashton-under-Lyne & Audenshaw - District 4f - Page 1 to 41
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 4f - Page 1 to 5
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 6d - Page 1 to 30
Ashton-under-Lyne - Audenshaw - District 7d - Page 1 to 29
Bradford - District 14 - Page 1 to 70
Bradford - District 15 - Page 1 to 77
Openshaw - District 23 - Page 1 to 23 unfinished
Whilst I've been searching I've been listening to my favourite radio station Wave 105. They've just had a woman on telling a joke & I'm sat here giggling :O) A woman looks in the mirror & says "Oh no, I'm old, fat & ugly," she turns to her husband & asks him to pay her a compliment. He says "well dear, your eye sights spot on". ROFLMAO
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