Private Benjamin

This working for a living is a hazard to your health. Well maybe not to my health but it could certainly damage the health of the next piggin holiday maker that asks me if we've got any caravans left for August. If you're going to ask such questions please have at least an idea of the type of caravan you want and if that really is too much to ask, an actual date would help. There are 4 weeks in August & if you times that by 108 caravans that's a lot of holidays so you NEED TO NARROW IT DOWN A BIT!

We've got a particular holiday maker on site at the moment who is driving me more insane than usual. I can't give out her real name for obvious reasons but I call her Private Benjamin because she reminds me of Eileen Brennan from the film of the same name. Kerri love, you're missing all the fun :Op

She has been a nightmare from start to finish. It all started when she tried to book a holiday last week at 4pm & wanted to arrive the same day, bearing in mind that she was on the mainland and the ferry takes an hour and we close at 8 o'clock.

She's made 3 half bookings and didn't finish any of them because either her phone went dead and she didn't leave a contact number; she couldn't read the security number on the back of her credit card or there were no ferry's on or off the Island Festival weekend. All of that was vital to us but didn't seem to bother her in the slightest. (I know this is sounding like I need more patience with the customers because that's my job after all, but trust me, you need to talk to her to understand just how loopy she is).

She phoned me on Tuesday morning saying that, although I had booked an 8am ferry for her, the motorway had been extremely busy and she had missed the sailing (by now it was half past 10). When she enquired at the Red Funnel ticket office about it, they had no knowledge of her? I wonder why, oh yes I know love, I told you last night that I couldn't book a ferry because YOU HAVEN'T PAID FOR IT arrrrgghhhh!!!!

In the end she just turned up, on Wednesday! I know, where the hell was she Tuesday night??? Since then she has been a pain in the butt. She blagged her way to using the office phone (don't ask) for one text message which she said she would pay for & 5 phone calls later we had to prize the phone off her. She gave us a sob story of only having £5 to her name blahdy blahdy blah, then proceeded to the clubhouse, bought herself a bottle of beer & started putting endless amounts of £1 coins in the fruit machine. Last night she sat in her car (parked outside reception) from 3:30 pm until 7:30pm and just stared out the window. She hadn't removed any of her possessions from the car to the caravan (which incidentally fills the boot so there's no way she can see out of her mirror). And to top it all, today she called out the breakdown services to retrieve her packet of cigarettes that had fallen down the dash board of her Range Rover. I can't repeat what the breakdown man said when he arrived but it went along the lines of ... I'm so sorry Miss, I don't deal with that sort of thing (you get the picture right) OMFG I'm in a loony bin I tell you.

Please, I beg you ... I AM A RECEPTIONIST ... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

OK rant over. Kerrie tagged me the other day & Teresa has been sat waiting patiently for my answers so here goes ...

1). What is your current obsession.
Photography

2). What is your weirdest obsession.
Making sure each item hung on the washing line has the same coloured pegs

3).What are you wearing today?
My work uniform ~ boring

4).Whats for dinner?
Andrews homemade tomato bread pizza & salad (licks lips)

5).What would you eat for your last meal?
An Indian Take Away

6).What was the last thing you bought?
Some fold up chairs for our evening at Osborne House listening to Mick

7).What are you listening to right now?
The washing machine & Sylvia's Mother by Dr Hook

8).What is your favourite ice cream flavour?
Mint Choc Chip. I adore ice cream and will give any flavour a go

9).What do you think of the person who tagged you?
I think she's as nutty as a fruit cake and I love her

10).If you could have a house totally paid for where would it be?
On a desert Island

11).If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would it be?
Negril beach

12).Which language do you want to learn?
Irish, I have tried but I can't quite get the accent right to be sure

13).What is your favourite quote?
The impossible I can do straight away but miracles take a little bit longer

14).What is your favourite colour?
Purple, blue, pink, green anything really but not black

15).What is your favourite item of clothing in your wardrobe?
My jeans

16).What is your dream job.
The one I'm doing now but without the customers lol, or an archivist

17).What is your worst habit?
Doing nothing, they don't call me sid sloth for nothing :O) oh and panicking

18).Do you admire any ones style?
I don't do style, nuf said

19).Describe your personal style?
Comfortable

20).What are your favourite movies?
The Thomas Crown Affair, 50 First Dates & Chicago

21).What is your favourite fruit?
Cherries

22).What inspires you?
Andrew, I think he's wonderful

23).Your favourite book?
Anything by Harlan Coben

24).Do you collect anything?
We've got a thing for white paint at the moment, does that count?

25).What is your favourite smell?
Jasmine

And that's it, my life in a nut shell lol.
Kisses xXx